Ponder this: Be a fish, not a fisherman?

Emily, In your last post, you wrote: “I can hear you mocking me already, but it is time I attempt the trapline approach” to dating [where you “always have three or four potential [men] in the trapline” to give you attention while you bide your time waiting for the “big fish”]. I say this withContinue reading “Ponder this: Be a fish, not a fisherman?”

A trapline of men? In time, can a can of sardines grow into a Bluefin tuna?

Kelsey Blair, A couple days ago, my 4-and-a-half-year-old niece Anna called me up and said: “Emily, I think you should get married.” I replied: “OK, but I need to find someone to marry first. Where do you think I should look?” Anna: “Um, well, um, I was thinking Charlie.” (Charlie is the 16-year-old student whoContinue reading “A trapline of men? In time, can a can of sardines grow into a Bluefin tuna?”

On Knowing Thyself & Thy Energy Style

Em, I read your post about pondering unconventional relationship dynamics during the temporal Bermuda triangle that is the week between the 25th of December and the 1st of January. To borrow language from generation z, it hit me “right in the feels.” In part — and please excuse the slightly schmaltzy digression — it isContinue reading “On Knowing Thyself & Thy Energy Style”

“The hardest thing in life isn’t getting what you want; It’s knowing what you want.”

Dear KB, You said my last post made you go ‘Ooof.’ I have to say, you questioning whether we use dating apps as a way of coping with our feelings, made me go, ‘Oooof.’ Quickly followed by a ‘Mother fucking Ooof!’ Because, I know you’re right.  What I have become painfully aware of, however, isContinue reading ““The hardest thing in life isn’t getting what you want; It’s knowing what you want.””

Dating: Like Weddings, Require More Liquid than Necessary

Ooof. That is the exact noise I made when I read your last post and learned that you have gotten 2 significant relationships out of 150 online dates. To be clear, I’m impressed. I also strongly feel like all the dating apps you’ve ever used should pool together to send you a gift basket. BecauseContinue reading “Dating: Like Weddings, Require More Liquid than Necessary”

A case to delete the dating apps in order to maximize your chance of finding a match…

Kelsey B, The question you posed—Is it still possible to meet people in real life?—is a thought-provoking one with all kinds of nuances. One particularly amusing nuance is that even when we do meet someone in real life, we often proceed to back track to communicating online in order to solidify a connection before re-enteringContinue reading “A case to delete the dating apps in order to maximize your chance of finding a match…”

Shuddering Souls and Meeting People IRL

Dear Emily, In your last post, you asked whether or not you were heartless for not being empathetic when a date prioritized his dogs over you, and it kind of made my soul shudder. Can a pet enrich someone’s life? No doubt. Are dogs cute? Sure. But, let’s do some math here. If 1 humanContinue reading “Shuddering Souls and Meeting People IRL”

When your date prioritizes his dogs over humans: Selfless? Or obnoxious?

Dearest Kelsey, Yes, we’re very different. I’m all heart and impulse, and perhaps smell, and you’re all head and rational lists.  In your last post, you asked me how to get out of your head, and warned me that you’d throw a bird at me if my advice for you was to just take aContinue reading “When your date prioritizes his dogs over humans: Selfless? Or obnoxious?”

Single ladies with fish: Should we lose our lists?

Mid-way through your post on whether or not pheromones are the driving factor in attraction, you suggest the possibility of becoming a single lady raising birds. Birds have feathers, Emily. And feathers mean work. If you ever become an eccentric version of a stereotype, it’s going to be with a low maintenance animal. Like aContinue reading “Single ladies with fish: Should we lose our lists?”

“He eats his peas one at a time”: Is finding a mate really all about pheromones?

Dear Kelsey, A recent dating escapade involved a handful of dates with a dude I legitimately felt I could be into. Banter was good, he was really smart and successful and had an astonishing amount of muscle mass.  Alas, something I couldn’t explain held me back. I wasn’t able to put my finger on what itContinue reading ““He eats his peas one at a time”: Is finding a mate really all about pheromones?”